What has been happening lately?

Hey people ^^ 

Wondering what's with the getup? it's just me wearing a set of floral clothes I bought back from Langkawi awhile back lol

Funnily enough, many people were amused by the fact I actually took the time to wear the matching set and wear it down to dinner no less...

*shrugs* owh well, what's the point of looking awesome if no one is able to appreciate it right? lol~

As the title per se, my classes are over for now, and the final year assessment will be underway in 2 weeks time... lots a time to study, and lotsa things to read too, T.T

Hopefully this year I am able to pass it without sitting for any viva or supple papers...

and look forward to a 6 week holiday when my finals are over before the start of 5th year (IF i GET into 5th year to begin with... Hey, one has to be realistic no?)

Alot of things to take in this past few weeks...

Knowing those who are actually there for me

Knowing that there are those who are mercilessly calculative that should you be unable to pay back what they seem as a debt, they will without fail, get it from you in the end...

Heck if I was like that, I would be a millionaire since I should be able to pull in favors and what not from many acquaintances out there...

Why the use of the word acquaintances?

Aaaaah for those who don't know, acquaintance is the term I use personally to describe hi-bye friends, who just stick around you for the perks and benefits, and disappear when there is nothing left for them...

90% of who we know these days are hi-bye friends, even if we would not like to admit it, but it is true.

Then again, the subject for debating such a topic will be left to another post in the near future ^^

Gives me something to write up on eh?

The haze up north here is somewhat tolerable I guess...

Doesn't mean I won't think twice when I decide to go jogging outside in the morning or evenings.

I'd still rather coup in my room, and not going out to enjoy myself .

I mean, let's face it, we can't really go enjoy ourselves when we have those that matter to us dearly sitting for exams and being moody all the time no?

Imagine if you will, your best friend going through a tough time.

Even though you have just finished your exams and ought to be celebrating, there's just a part of you that says 'NO, you don't deserve to be a friend if you just go off celebrating while ending up bragging about the fun times you just had outside when your friend is stuck inside campus for the next 1-2 weeks or so with their finals'

Admit it, there are many of you who would just shrug it off and say hey, I deserve some R&R after all that stress

but do your friend a favor... 

If you DO happen to go out and enjoy yourself, try to keep it on a down low and avoid telling every single little detail to that friend of yours who is already dying and craving for freedom while bullying their brains to absorb as much details as they can.

They are human too, and being inconsiderate can go very deep into someone else's impression about you...

Believe me,

It does....

Piece~

This is not helping....

It's not like I don't know anything....
It's not like I skipped out during my clinical postings...
I have enough attendance in theory classes cuz I don't skip...
So what seems to be the problem?
I can only guess it's just.... well... me....

Got up this morning to a pleasant surprise, it was a simple breakfast and I was somewhat happy and groggy from last night's lack of sleep... (yes, I slept at 3-ish am~)
My mind was still recovering from the rush of yesterday's paper and after that simple pleasant breakfast, my mind started to spiral downhill.
It got so bad, I just refused to even look at my notes or my books piled up at my side table.
I didn't even go down for lunch..
Well, technically I DID go down to the cafe, but I came back to the room barely 5 minutes later with 2 packets of chips and a packet of sunflower seeds for me to much on...
and that was after I swore to be quite frugal this month as I have been over spending it last month...
So lunch was 4 pieces of bread with 2 packets of chips and a cup of syrup water... (hey, gotta have my source of glucose...)

....

Come to think of it, it's been awhile since I just typed out my daily experience instead of being so abstract in my posts...
I mean, I had my reasons for them, but right now, I just need to type this out somewhere.
I can't bother those I care about, they have their own things to do.
I feel like I am such a disappointment and that things should just end... somewhat literally...
Being confined to the campus is cruel enough, and I can't even go sports for fear of being too tired to be able to study should suddenly a gush of motivation choose to breeze through my window (hopefully at any given moment now...)
I feel like flying home right now, but at the same time I don't...
So this is what torn between two worlds feel like..
They say having someone there for you will help, someone's shoulder to lean on...
I just feel like that is irresponsible, and thus I barely look for someone to confide in...
They have things to do too.... and if they are that important to me, all the more reason I wouldn't want to bother them with my problems.
Doesn't really make sense but yeah, I feel that way....

....

Come to think of it, I need new pictures.... pictures that I snapped myself, not randomly googled pictures that seem to be related to my post...
but now it just seems irrelevant...
I need to get my act together and know my priorities..

but that IS the problem, because it's not like I DON'T KNOW my priorities,
It's just that I have the motivations, insight and the drive to strive for it...

I don't know what to do right now...
I don't know how...
I just can't....



*sigh*

Mother's day~

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY~!

Everyday is mother's day, 

Just that they decided to make a special one day to remind us how important they are~

Take care of mummy,

For we are legends only because she was there for us~

Piece~

Choices in people

People tend to be close to those that matter to them, yesh that is a fact.
HOWEVER when they start to realize that they are just an option and that the said people can live without them, somewhere along the line they may start thinking," Am I even a priority? or just an option?"
Do understand that the word "option" here does not denote that there are multiple choices or selections to be chose from, no, definitely not.
In this context, one has to understand that being treated "like an option" signifies that the said person in question if not given the appreciation or gratitude due when one claims to threat another as a "priority"
Simple as that?

Googling up "priority definition" gave me the following...

A thing that is regarded as more important than another. The fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important.

When does one feel or start to acknowledge that they are being treated as a priority?
Can the absence of other choices, causing all of one's attention to be diverted to the only single choice, be considered as treating it as a priority?
Is priority not something that one bestows upon something or another person, instead of becoming one when there are no other possible candidates?

One has to start thinking along those lines, or just end up being forever under the assumption that they are a PRIORITY when they are just in fact just  the ONLY OPTION left that is laid in front of them....
When a person comes to the conclusion that they are merely the only option left, and there were NOT in fact made into a priority as a choice, one may start thinking along the lines of being used, solely as the only option available at the time~

I have to say that such a conclusion hurts every time when one reaches such a conclusion after a long effort of being someone's PRIORITY.... For all that is worth, such people either should be MADE into a priority, or let go to another who DOES treat them like a priority.
For everyone deserves to be treated as one.

"Solely existing just to please another is a sad and lonely existence"
- Fai fai No-Reason

Piece~

Lifting up yourself in hard times~

"When the going get tough, the tough gets going" - Timon, The Lion King
What can I say?
That simple line sometimes still brings a small smile to my face.
But one has to acknowledge that somehow things will somehow get better.
It has never been about us not deserving happiness, everyone does, it's just that it is not time yet, or we're looking at the wrong places.
Or maybe it has been there all along, just that we don't really bother giving any attention to them and taking them for granted.... Simple as that...

Yesh that is true...
But not knowing what precious things you have around you and what actually makes you happy, you're most likely be kept in the dark not by the hard stuff around you, but by your very own self instead...

I can only hope this is a part of the journey, because from what I see, I have been neglected a bit too frequently..
I can see that just by being with me, many are being weighed down and tired out, too much expectations from me?
I can hear the disappointment and the vague resignation when you're with me, just playing along to seem like you're interested, but truth be told, there are times where I feel like a toddler being given candy to to be pacified and to behave myself....
I can talk and speak my mind about things, but if they are being heard of not is a totally different matter indeed.
I can feel that you couldn't care less about things that concern us, for if I don't reach out for you, I'll have to wait for what seems an eternity before you find me...

If doing something means you care, does not doing anything means I do NOT care?
Thus, I don't really have to DO things to SHOW that I CARE no?
If nothing is being done for me, and yet I blindly remain ignorant of such a fact,
I can only say that it must be blissful being the one NOT doing anything...

I'll wait....


I'll just wait.... and see if all is not for naught..

Piece~

Ever waning patience~

"There are those that wait on us,
Regardless of what we say or do,
But when left abandoned many times,
Their patience start to run thin too"
- Fai fai No-Reason

Sharing something interesting~

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady.
She started screaming out of fear.
With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away, but... it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forwards to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next flew upon the waiter.

The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt.
When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it new to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handles the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it's mt inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:
I understood, I should not react in life.
I should always respond.
The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.

Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well though of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.

Have a nice day.



AND THUS~!
Respond to things,
Don't just react to them when the time comes~
It is what makes all the difference...

Piece~

The insides of a pomelo~

Hie~! Random post~
A month or two back I was on a pomelo frenzy, so I managed to locate, but and eat 2 of them ^^
It's a lot of work just to eat the insides of such a big citrus fruit~
For those who have not ever seen a pomelo up close before, this is how it looks ^^

Yesh, there you go ^^
We start off by having knife make vertical cuts across which facilitates us pulling off the thick 1/2 inch skin~

Once done, it will look something like this ^^

But wait~!
We can't eat it just yet lol~
The whitish covering tastes nasty and eating it is a big no no~
And so we peel it until we come to the soft juicy centre~!

Wierd post but hey, I suddenly felt like eating it again, haha~


Gosh it's raining heavily outside~
Piece~

The end of exams?

Hi there~!
With the clock showing 5pm today, it marks the last 21 hours more to go before the start of the last paper of my exam XD
Sure I want this over with and I' already looking forward to my trip home, where I might just got for a family holiday for this year's chinese new year holiday *jumps with joy*
but seriously I am getting a bit too ahead of myself...
I have NO IDEA what is going to come out for tomorrow's paper.
I mean, literally ZERO~
What can I say?
The lecturers didn't leave anything behind, and I kinda lost my paper which tells me the topics that have been taught in the last 5 months, so I am technically doomed >.<
To top it off, I have not attended the posting for this particular two subjects, and so I am completely clueless about both subjects.
*shrugs* owh well, will just randomly read and hope I am able to crap up something in tomorrow's paper?

I have yet to start taking pictures again with my own camera, so sorry, so nothing interesting to upload at the moment~
I started to note that I tend to take random pictures off google that seem to be related to my posts so that they don't seem go colorless and down.
Owh well, must have been a subconscious move of my own to ensure that there is at least ONE picture in every post.
Why? don't ask, ask my subconscious XD

*Yawn* this weather is not helping, I should be trying to study at the moment.
Gosh, not to mention I still have hospital sessions tomorrow and the day after, that means I won't be able to go back until Friday evening~
It's ok, I know home is just waiting for my return *jumps with joy*
The weather is so hot, it's making me sooo.... lazy, hehe~
Sue me, this drowsy feeling is not helping at all.
Guess I'll go to nap awhile before I start struggling in ENT and opthalmology~

Signing off here (at the moment), piece~

Times with a best friend~

Hey guyZ, (for those wondering, it's me on the left lol)
Taken awhile back at 1st Avenue, Penang, with two people I would do almost anything in my power for~
Although friendship is something vague to me, I'm still learning... hopefully~
This brings me to my post today~

What does the term BEST friend mean?
What does it imply?
Does it mean you'd do anything for that person?
Does it mean you know each other's whims in and out that you're able to make them feel better?
Or does it just mean being there for them?

Till lately, the term BEST friend has not been much to me.
I have many ACQUAINTANCES as I would put it, and even fewer FRIENDS to begin with, so, if that's the case, how can I even have a/few BEST friends?
Friends are overrated I use to say~
Friends come and go, which is true enough~
Friends make use of you, get what they want, and leave you to your own devices until they need you again, and its goes on and on until someone caves in and sounds off their dissatisfaction.
BUT, then again, doesn't that sound like any plain argument, regardless of the relationship?
When friends are close, society becomes unhappy and starts maiming such friends with ridicule (known as gossip) and it does not stop there.
No it doesn't, thus society is a cruel place.
When friends become something more than friends, besties, people are jealous they have such a special thing, and relentlessly try to ear them apart, using hidden tactics and underhanded means to get them to turn on each other~
But no, some besties stay strong, and may even become something more~
BROhood between guyZ, fast gurlfriends among gurls, and besties, maybe even a relationship of a romantic nature.
AND STILL the society plans to meddle around and try to break things up as they relentlessly point fingers, spread rumors and shun them as seen appropriate by society~

Oooh haf to run off for lunch, brb~
Piece~