I used to
not give any credit to friends for adding some color into my life. Back then to
me, friends are just people you tend to get to know from time to time, who
coincidentally at that time had something similar to you. They come and go with
the wind, although some do stay around for years at a time. If I didn’t meet
them for long periods of time, like everything else, they fade away from my
memory as all things do. However I did have a friend few years back who holds a
special place in my memory until today, and looking back, she was possibly one
of my first few real friends that I made back then.
She was the
same age as me, and although I was a grade higher since I started school a year
earlier, we got to know each other and exchanged common pleasantries
occasionally when we cross each other’s path around school. She had her own
circle of friends, while I had few close friends of my own who had no
correlation at all with each other. I guess the only reason we knew each other
was because she was involved in the same curriculum activities as me. When I
left high school, we kept in touch with occasional greetings and exchanges over
the internet. It was not long after that when we learned that she was diagnosed
with cancer.
Out of all
her friends, only a handful constantly kept in touch in an attempt to keep her
courage up, to keep fighting the cancer and living. She dropped out of school
for a year as she sought medical treatment. She lost weight, her usual radiance,
even her right leg as it was removed in an attempt to reduce the spread of
cancer. She was subjugated to all kinds of tests and treatments, including
chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Being far away pursuing my studies, I kept my
correspondence with her and through that I felt her pain, her anguish, and her
diminishing strength as time goes on. Feeling slightly better after a year of
treatment, she decided to resume her studies to finish off high school with the
support of her family and friends.
I helped
when I was able to, passing my high school notes and sometimes small one-to-one
lessons on subjects or chapters that she was weak at. We spent simple time
together, shared stories, laughed and made fun of each other. I was ashamed to
admit that there were times where she was helping me more than I was helping
her. She helped me grow as a person, while I am only able to lend what courage,
strength and solace I had to offer. We kept constant contact as I resumed my
studies in a different state.
One day her
test results came back and the doctors said she was terminal. Everyone was
devastated by the news. Being the bright and brave girl she always was, she
called her close friends for an outing that may seem like the last one she
might ever have. Being so far away, I could only cheer her on and try to make
it back to visit her as soon as possible. Time was not on my side as a phone
message that was meant for her was replied by her brother saying that she has
gone into a coma and was rushed to the hospital that morning. Despite our grief
and constant praying for my dearest friend, she passed on that very evening. It
is to this day that I live with the regret of not being able to meet her one
last time before she departed from this world.
Since then
I tried to adopt her cheerful predisposition and attitude. I tried to look at
things differently than I used to, changing for what I hope to be the best. I
try my upmost to lend a hand and be there for my friends who seem truthful and
friends who are in need of help. I now live my life now with the positive
outlook in memory of my dear friend that I lost to cancer.
It has been 6 years since I last heard from you...
You live on in our memories Sharon Lee Shu Wen.
FantasiZer here...
Woke up today remembering the things and times we shared...
it's been 5 years, missing you and remembering the last few things we talked about.
it has been so long, that I kind of forgot how your voice sounds like when we talked, but the memory is as vivid as ever...
living my life in memory of your strong will to go on...
already starting in my 5th year in medicine , can you believe that?
Reading up about cancer almost always reminds me of you, and I regret not being able to see you one last time...
You are always remembered Shironu...
Rest in peace Sharon...
http://fantasizerx.blogspot.com/2008/02/lost-for-words.html
