Daring to dream again

It has been awhile since I sat by the phone, waiting for an anticipated message that never came, because I learned the hard way that "If one does not have any expectations, then one shall not be easily disappointed"

And so I waited with no expectations and accepted that fact with no arguments.

It has been awhile since I waited for that call, waiting for an anticipated call with the voice of a loved one on the other end asking about how my day has been, and wanting to hear all about it.

Not because if was interesting, but just because...

And so I waited to hear that voice that faded away, which ended with a cold text message on a lonely day.

It has been awhile since I sat in the car, waiting to go out and spend time with someone that means so much to me...

I can keep driving and driving with them beside me holding my hand, only to stop to fill the car with gas and our bellies with food before hitting the road again. It didn't matter how far the journey was, it just mattered that you were beside me...

And so now I drive alone with a shadow of a memory on my long drives, not stopping till I reach my destination because I have nothing to stop for.

Yet now, I feel hope.

That I am able to free myself from these chains of misery and regret.

To realize that I deserved better and that I had been giving and not receiving as much in return after all this while...

To call anyone and go out with anyone because there is no one to be annoyed with the fact that I was going out with another person to begin with when they left...

To sit in the car and ponder outside at the sunset why I took in all that expectation, insult and ridicule and still not realize I deserved more...

And yet there is hope~

I hope so....

Fai fai No-Reason's weather forecast: (I haven't done this in awhile...)
The dark ominous clouds have started to move with the passing wind... and a familiar face comes back to give a hand. I reach out in hopes that we can more forward together~
The storm already left me weary, but I pledge what remaining trust I have in this, and hope for the best