Too tired to do anything~

How is it possible that regardless of how much I try to forget how much pain I have endured for the past 6 months, it just keeps coming back?

How is it possible that what was there just died off with a single message?

What was I thinking all those years...


There was a time.. (still do actually) that I used to thing think that happiness if a finite thing.

The theory I had was, is that a person is only allowed to be happy only so much in his/her life.
Maybe they would be having happy childhood, before something happened later on.
Or maybe that person suffered at the hands of the lamentable daily chore we called 'homework' before getting happier with the results achieved and moving on to become a successful person in working life?

An interesting thing to note here, is that this theory applied to EVERYTHING that we see, hear and experience in our daily lives.
As such, you can see here where my dilemma lies, as if this particular 'rule' applies to EVERYTHING, if will happen to me sooner or later~

I was happy for the past 6 years, truly it was a miracle~
That I cruised through my MBBS with not repeating a year, despite my mediocre knowledge, skill and attitude.
I made it through my HOship without experiencing any major hickups and made it possible for me to stand on my own 2 feet without depending on anyone.
I thought my life was getting somewhere now that I have the means to actually do something, especially financially and time wise, since I am finally a medical officer....


and yet...


I feel empty...
I no longer feel what if feels like to feel accomplished anymore.
To be happy just to get that one text message.
I no longer bother meeting people, for fear of rejection and abandonment.
Although I have stayed back those 2 years, in the end I was just taken for a ride and before I know it, it was over just like that~
Who am I to go around bothering people, when I have no longer the right to be happy over such things again?

I feel like I have run out of this finite thing we call 'happiness'?

What is it to be friends?

I just spend some time watching this simple movie~
Granted its not everyone's cup of tea, but the main purpose of the movie is simple enough

A simple question was asked throughout the movie on which the main character constantly ponders...
"Is there a special criteria needed to being friends?"
"What does it mean to be a friend?"
Well.. along those lines (paraphrasing here okaay? toe-may-toe / toe-mah-toe, same thing~)
and yet, he just trudges along and somehow everything got to be okay.
How so?
He chooses to face everyone and own up to his mistakes that he has done in the past.

but then again, the main character has the privilege of having done something wrong to reflect on~

and here I am still pondering why my careful considerations and actions are taken as 'insignificant' and cast aside as 'fear of the unknown' overturns a person's better judgement~

but then again, I am not the main character....

never have been...


never will be~

Piece~

Merry Belated Christmas?

Happy belated christmas?

LOL I know it's kinda late... No excuses for myself. Been at home for the past 1 week, free from judging eyes and ungrateful people back on campus.
So, will try to be non-nonchalant this post round. People have been 'complaining' that my posts lately have been too ominous comparatively to my posts all those years back.
Will try to just post stuff that has been happening to me with more real life pics aite? *winks*

SO, christmas~!

Christmas at Straight Quay, Penang island...

Christmas at Amanjaya mall, Sungai Petani

Was sending back a friend to the bus stop the other day (yesh, she was on the way home, my flight back home was a few days away, booo~) so I stopped by blackball that opened recently with the new Amanjaya mall at Sungai Petani...
Had my customary set A2 Winter Melon, cold NOT hot yes?
What? Can't blame by craving for cold sweet stuff yesh?
Everyone has that XD
First it was all nice and cold, sitting right in front of me...

A minute or so later it was gone *sob sob*

Never too late for desert people ^^
Found out that in the northern region, Blackball desert is all over the place, as comparatively to Snowflake, which is more predominant in the Klang valley and Selangor region.
Go get yours today people *whoops*
Eat all the deserts~! XD

Guess I ran out of pics for now... Will try and snap more photos while I'm sitting here at home.
Maybe get myself a better pouch to bring my stuffs and camera around.

On a separate note, I finally finished playing Assassin Creed 3.. *phew* took me awhile XD
Playing through all the small mission quests now, but essentially, I am proud to say I have completed the main story line ^^

The storyline this time was fun, featuring a whole new time-era, characters and design which we are so accustom to in Assassin Creed 1,2, brotherhood, and revelation.
There the tree climbing part ability, the hunting part of the game, as well as the naval game play (which was mildly amusing and fun to toy around with)
Overall, the ending could have been better, but I have no qualms about the storyline itself as well as the challenges within the game.
Sure like all games there are a few bugs that I'd prefer fixed, but hey, can't have everything now can we?
hehe...

Then I noticed there are a few things that caught my eye in the game, so I went to check out Ubisoft's website to see if there are such merchandise designed based on the the in-game designs~
Found the hoodie which I adored since Assasin Creed 1...

Also a single strap backpack which I have been looking round for since like forever, lol~

The latest hoodie design from Ubisoft based on Assassin Creed 3, which features the eagle embroidering on 

the front of the hood, but me rather have the large eagle embroidering in the 1st hoodie lol~

What can I say?
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY~!

If only I could just walk into the store and get one now, LOL~
Too bad its on the other side of the globe, boohoo...

Well I guess this post wasn't that bad now was it?
Will have to take more pics in the future if I am to reform my blog to its former glory.
Luck to me people? hehe~
Take care and enjoy the remaining days of the holidays~
Oh, and a happy new year, should I be unavailable to udpate a new year post XD
Piece~ ^^

Releasing stress?

It has been a hot week, with almost no rain for the last 2-3 weeks. Surprisingly this afternoon, a cool breeze cam in through the window and the skies were looking a little gloomy then. Down came the rain, drizzling a mere amount of water *drip drip drip* well, something is better than nothing no?
Went jogging again yesterday, this time with a friend (Lee Theam Hao, did i spell that right?) Anyways, we went off quite early as compared to my usual time of 6.20pm, instead we started off from the guys hostel at 5.30pm. Walked there and started my usual 6 rounds, making sure it is well below 20 minutes. Got it under 15minutes this time (estimation, since my fon only managed to play barely 4 tracks) Theam Hao was gasping, but managed to clear off the 6 rounds with me leading by 1.5 rounds. Well done!! The next time we'll do 10 rounds aite? I might haf attempted the 10 round feat, but i had to stay active enough to read after dinner..
On the way back, another spectacular shot right above the sports complex.. And after dinner Isaaz invited me over to help him finish off the last seal for Assasin creed 2. Finished that off (after much cursing and swearing in between) and showed him a few things i knew about the game, one of which is a minor skill that me and my bros discovered while playing this particular game on PS3, which is running tackle (which incidently can be done on ANYONE, even innocent bystanders XD)
One of them was a NPC girl which happened to walk our way.. *Runs, tackles gurl to the ground* (Isaac and me stared a moment and started laughing our heads off here) HAHAHAHA... dun see the funny part yet?

Oh well, look closer?

A little zoom in perhaps? *shakes head* This looks like a ..... a...... XD Anyways, we managed to take a screenshot of it (what? it was such a laughable moment yes?) and we wanted to show and point out that no matter how great a game's graphics capabilities are, you will still have minor stuff that we are able to catch and laugh about, with this being one of them ^^ Studies? Well, its going along slowly, but i have to say that at least making slow progress is better than making NO progress at all ^^ wow, being proud of the fact i'm studying slow is not a good thing

*goes to a corner and feels gloomy*

No other interesting things to talk about at the moment, everyone is starting to pick up the exam stress and inspiration to study, AND SO! i shall make a proclamation here that i will study too!!

*screams in excitement, rolls on the floor, jumps up and down on the bed, pulls on hair, attempting to run up the wall and failing by dropping down flat on the floor*

Ouch... ok dat hurts XD and that's it for now
piece~