There was....

There was a time when I would have done anything for that one person that mattered...
Where no circumstance or trouble or appointments that would have kept me away, as I would try my level best to be there for that one person..
That only the most longest and most busy night shifts would keep me away from you because I am not in the condition to drive to see you... as the idea that I worry you if something happens to me horrifies me..

There was a time...


There was day when I would just sit be gloomy from all the stress in the world...
and a nonchalant message from you would have lit up my day, and gave me the strength to shoulder on...
but then those messages sporadically appear only when you are bored or you have nothing to do, and makes me wonder sometimes that if I am ever on your mind, if ever at all...

There was a day...


There was that hour when I would just wait patiently with butterflies in my stomach waiting for you to finish seeing your patient..
Knowing that once the hour was up, I would be able to spend time with you and that the long wait and drive over would have been so worth it when I was able to see the light shine off your eye as you reprovingly chastise me for the choice of my clothing...
but then again, it was always me looking forward to see you, and I have trouble recalling the day you waited, and looked up to me with the same adoring expression that I must have had plastered on my face that time~

There was that hour...


There was that minute when if someone asks what my special other does, I would swell up in pride and just go on and on about what she does..
How as much as I would not like to admit it at that moment that my hand skills are inferior to dental hands-on daily practice, that feeling would be drowned out by the mere fact that you were doing something that I might never be able to achieve, even if I restarted my university life all over again..

There was that minute...


There was that moment, when I looked at you and I decided, for all her imperfection and narcissistic qualities, I would still rather have you around after all you have done...
That moment where you delivered that fatal like blow nonchalantly on the very first morning of my life as a MO, and made that joyous occasion turn into something so bitter that no food or consolation or well wishes made it to my consciousness
Where my first birthday at the end of a 8 year grueling journey just filled me with hate, disbelief and betrayal...

There was that moment...


and now all that is gone~
because it never mattered to you more than your pride ever did or allowed...

For all it is worth, may you never experience what you did to me... not because I still care for you or think about you...

But because I feel no one should EVER go though what I did, on that day you abandoned me ever so heartlessly....


No one....